When I make a commitment I try really hard to be on time, do what I promised, meet the expectations, etc. I don’t like messing up or letting people down. If life were regular and consistent, then maybe this would work; however, my life at the moment is not so. To say that my life is in turmoil at the moment is an understatement. Each day brings many challenges and difficulties to face.
For me, writing is therapeutic. I have written a journal since I was a young girl. Most of my journal entries are actually not documenting what has been going on in my life, they have instead focused on my feelings and thoughts about my life and where it is going. I find my journal to be a source of comfort – a place where I can sort things out and process what is going on around me. It is healing, in these turbulent times. to have a safe place to share what is really on my heart and my mind.
So while the journal has received much attention of late, this blog has not. I’ve never been one to wear my heart on my sleeve. Yet, keeping what is bothering me inside is not helpful. I have opened up to a few people and that has seen a treasure of support and love and care bestowed on me. God did not mean for us to live our lives in isolation. There is so much to be gained by being in a caring community.
Life right now is unpredictable and uncertain. Yet, I have the confidence that I am not walking alone. Things might be rough at the moment, but God is there. He ministers to me through His Word, through His people, through His creation. I am not alone and I take great comfort in that fact. While my world crashes around me, I take comfort in the fact that God’s promises are sure and certain.
So, at least for a time, I will not have the nice orderly life that I crave. Perhaps I was too complacent. It’s so easy to take the good things for granted when life is going smoothly. Well I am not taking things for granted now. I treasure every loving contact with my children and others in my support system. I praise God for the ability to stand strong – not with my own strength, but with His.
